“What you think about you bring about”
Where your focus goes your energy flows and problems, even ones that aren’t even real, that haven’t happened yet, and likely never will need energy to live. Why do we spend hours, days , weeks and even months Catastrophising the future & convincing ourselves our life is going ‘To hell in hand basket’
We will be poor, homeless, destitute, dying of some as yet undiscovered disease, a failure, unlovable. IF We make this ONE decision and get it ‘wrong’??
There is NO such thing as a ‘wrong’ decision. There are only decisions, everything we do is a decision, even NOT making a decision, is a decision!
So why do we do it then?
Simple we all want CERTAINTY, as human beings we hate dealing with the ‘unknown’. The unknown makes us scared and fearful, so our brain search’s for certainty in the future based on the only evidence it has – THE PAST. Ours or other peoples that we have heard about, read about or been a part of and it convinces us that the past will repeat itself and that WILL be your future.
So what do you do?
Worry, get anxious, go over and over different scenarios in your head only to come out with same result, because you are NOT looking for evidence to the contrary. You will conveniently dismiss articles or stories or events in your own life that prove your catastrophising incorrect, selective amnesia on proving yourself wrong! So you continue to play victim, to be the child who stomps his or her feet and cries ‘its not fair’ to your own thoughts.
HARSH REALITY CHECK
YOU are the thinker of your thoughts, you can CHOOSE them and YOU can CHANGE them. The longer and deeper you dwell on a problems that hasn’t even happened yet, the more you will create a ‘feeling’ of depression and anxiety, yes, harsh it may be but it IS a choice.
I hear you protesting loudly now… “I don’t choose to feel anxious or depressed smarty pants”. Actually you do, because you chose to think those thoughts, that elicited the feelings…
So why does it FEEL like its not in your control then?
A number of reasons:
1. Your Sub-conscious mind runs the show and so you are not consciously aware of the thoughts that are driving your beliefs that keep you stuck in the past
2. HABIT – a biggy many people over look, you do it so often, its become automatic
3. There’s a pay off!
What do I mean by that? You actually benefit from over thinking, being in anxiety and depression (feel free to cuss at me now!).
It lets you off of the hook! You get to stay in ‘poor-me’ mode, you get to receive sympathy, you get to let other people take care of you, you get to feel less guilty about NOT having the courage to step out of comfortable. You get a permission slip to NOT change, and to keep moaning about how hard everything is…so you get sympathy, empathy, and your ego stroked!
You get to NOT take action!
The more you do it, the better at it you get, the more the vision of the future (which don’t forget is entirely fictitious – unless you have a crystal ball!) you have conjured up in your own head is a disaster and the worse you feel. Guess what? The worse you feel, the worse your made up stories become too! You can see how the cycle of anxiety and depression can grow….all based upon:
THE THOUGHTS YOU CHOOSE TO THINK AND BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN HEAD.
Okay Vick, thanks for that prod in the ribs with a sharp stick I hear you!
And thanks for making me feel annoyed and angry and a tad foolish.. What the didgeridoo can I do to change it? Change your focus and change your frequency, when you think those thoughts.
THINK OF YOUR MIND LIKE A RADIO STATION
Most of us have our radio pre-programmed to our favourite station right? Pure habit and we probably enjoy it most of the time, But sometimes there may be a song you can’t bear to hear (for whatever reason). What do you do? You find a different frequency, you change the channel, Right? You can do that with your thinking. Your thinking is your frequency. If your thoughts are not providing you with solutions, If your thoughts are getting you down & making you feel anxious, Think of them like that song you can’t bear to hear on the radio. Find a different frequency, change channel, put your focus on something completely different!
You aren’t hiding, trying to deny, push away or ignoring those thoughts,
simply reminding yourself they are just thoughts based on a made-up future
inside your head, and they have had enough of your time and focus!
You are in control of what you think and how you feel, no one else is 😉